californication

being here without a purpose is the end to me. i sit in this nostalgic mind set of summer 2008; somewhere where i never want to be again. the more time moves on the worse it gets and at the very same time, the better it gets. santa rosa is seriously a drug. i hate it. but i love it. the only escape is either all or nothing. either i stay happily(?) or i go back to new york and forget about everyone and everything. there is no compromise. it brings me down so far, yet i want it so incredibly. this sucks.